5 relationship red flags - girl, this ain’t the circus

I mean, it might feel like the circus done came to town due to the chaos you’re dealing with but if you are seeing red flags in a relationship, it’s nottttt the circus. They are warning signs that need to be taken very, very seriously.

There’s a quote I’ve read from Dr. Maya Angelou - if someone shows you who they are, believe them. Don’t excuse away behavior or that niggling feeling you have. Repeated mistakes, slips of the tongue, dishonesty, suspicious behavior - be on high alert.

Sometimes there are obvious signs but sometimes the signs are more subtle. It’s easy to be manipulated by someone, especially if you’ve known them for a long time, hold them in high regard, or you are emotionally vulnerable.

Now, certainly, there are some people in this world who are just plain bad people. People with wicked intentions. But then there are people who have been hurt before, or out of their own sinfulness they choose to treat a person badly, or they don’t realize what they are doing - perhaps they’ve been treated in the same way and are modeling that same behavior.

Just real quick - here are some red flags to look out for:

  1. Your friends and/or family have voiced concerns about your partner/friend/relationship. Sometimes others can see things we can’t see. It’s possible to be too close to the situation and have blind spots. This doesn’t mean that every single thing that someone else says about your relationship is true, but consider it and then do with it what you will.

  2. You feel the Lord nudging you in another direction. Now if you’re married, you are married. I’m not saying go get a divorce! lol! Nope, this is in regards to a friendship or dating relationship. If you feel that tug that something’s not right, pray about it. And then pray for the courage to do what is needed.

  3. You feel confused/embarrassed/ashamed when you’re around them. Take inventory of how you feel when you are with this person. If they make you feel badly about yourself, take note! The right boyfriend/girlfriend/friend will build you up, not tear you down. There should also be clarity in a relationship - if there is confusion, examine where that’s coming from. Is there simply not enough communication? Or are they manipulative?

  4. They don’t share your values/beliefs/interests, etc. It is incredibly INCREDIBLY incredibly *incredibly* important that you have things in common with this person if this is a romantic relationship. Shared experiences and having fun together are two key ways to connect with a partner and an important foundational piece of a marriage.

  5. You find it hard to trust them. Now sometimes we can bring trust issues into a relationship from past experiences. It’s important to explore trust difficulties in a relationship and see where they originate. (this is why self-awareness and self-reflection is SO IMPORTANT - journaling is a good tool to cultivate those within yourself) If the trust issues come from your past, it’s important to work through those so that you are able to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship. If the trust issues are originating from this other person in the relationship - healing is needed for you and changed behavior and initiative on their part is absolutely necessary. If they are not interested in changing behavior or taking initiative to help you heal, RED FLAG. You deserve better.

There are many more red flags, but those are just a few bullet points to consider. If there is anything that is a concern to you in a relationship, address it. Do not wait for it to resolve itself! Okay? Okay! :)

You are worthy of healthy and happy relationships. Don’t forget - you play a part in that!

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