What to do when your heart hurts
I wrote the title of this post as “What to do when your hurt hearts” lol! Well that too, I guess!
We’ve all gone through difficult things. This life is definitely not for the faint of heart, am I right? Talk about a roller coaster: ups and downs, sometimes fun, sometimes scary. There’s laughter, there are tears. We get hurt, we lose people, we witness difficulties in our loved ones’ lives, we weather storms.
It’s easy to wonder how in the world we’re supposed to keep going.
Take it day by day, my friend. I know the feeling of being so overwhelmed by emotional pain that it takes my breath away. It makes the days ahead feel as though they are resting on top of me like a big ol’ elephant on my shoulders. Here’s the deal: the Lord’s mercy is new every morning. A fresh batch for the day ahead. He intends for us to stay in the moment and not borrow trouble from tomorrow. Yes, it will hurt tomorrow. The pain will still be there. But let’s carry today’s hurt and let tomorrow’s hurt stay there.
So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. - Matthew 6:24 NLT
Lean on your people. Reach out to a trusted friend/pastor/advisor/family member when you are feeling like you may drown in your pain (sometimes it hurts worse than other times - for me, I tend to be more emotional later in the evening. Mornings seem hopeful and evenings seem a bit depressing for me at times). We need each other. There is power in community. When we are struggling, let a loved one hold you up in prayer. Maybe you can’t even find the ones to say in prayer - let someone pray over you. Lean on their strength.
Don’t build a wall. Friend, I can’t emphasize this enough. When we are hurting, we sometimes respond by putting up walls around ourselves. Think of a wounded animal, hobbling off to lick its wounds somewhere safe. That’s us. We have that instinctive response to curl up and block out pain. Guess what? It doesn’t truly block the pain. And that wall we’ve built? It’s built on fear and anger. It can turn into bitterness and anxiety and depression quicker than you’d realize. If you build walls, you’re keeping others out and keeping God at arm’s length. He will never bust in on you; you’ve got to invite Him in.
We run the risk of shriveling up and dying behind the wall we built - a prison of our own making.
Stay open. Stay vulnerable - to God and people. Let God in to be a balm on the wounds of your heart. You can trust Him with your pain. It feels scary to surrender to Him sometimes - especially if we feel like His way is not ours. We’ve gotta trust Him and look back and acknowledge the evidence of His faithfulness in our lives. Even if His way looks different. on the outset, we can trust Him in His goodness. He loves us. We are His children.
So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him. - Matthew 7:11 NIV
Go to counseling - talk to a professional. Let them help you discover tools and coping skills.
Remain faithful in your spiritual disciplines.
Take care of yourself - physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Take time to define what that means for you.
Let yourself cry. Don’t hold it in. Any emotion that you have - anxiety, frustration, anger, grief - make sure you process it. Do this in prayer, through journaling, talking with loved ones, and expressing those emotions in healthy ways. If you hold emotions in and refuse to deal with them, they will deal with you.
Remember that joy comes in the morning. This is a season. What you sow in sorrow, you will reap in joy.
Let the Lord comfort you. Invite Him in to mend your brokenness. Trust His process.
…and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. - Isaiah 61:3 NIV